The Hurt Management Department

Look! Squirrel! #25

Commentary

When someone says something hurtful, the mind immediately rushes in with repair strategies: explanations, comebacks, reframes, distractions, affirmations, revenge fantasies, self-improvement plans. It sincerely wants to help us stop hurting.

But underneath all those strategies is a quieter realization: another person’s words only hurt because we’ve granted them enormous authority over how we feel. Even when their words and actions are more about themselves than us.

Nobody consciously appoints critics as rulers of their emotional lives. Yet the mind often behaves as if we have. Flower Capybara simply notices the arrangement without arguing with it.

Question: When I feel hurt, what am I believing that person’s words can take away from me?